Dating an ultramarathoner –
Pros: Stamina.
Cons: You perpetually feel unathletic around him and his friends.
Here are the three best tips I’ve discovered thus far for faking it, but I’d love it if you would share yours!
1. TAKE SMALL STEPS
(Sounds completely wrong, I know but trust me, the ultramarathoner is actually the person who taught me this game-changer.)
When you’re climbing a steep trail, it is more efficient to take small steps rather than the largest steps possible—which is what I’ve done my whole life. I thought that fewer steps preserved energy since it was less steps, obvs. Turns out I was completely wrong.
(Wondering why my degree in physics didn’t cover this)
If you need proof of this counterintuitive revelation, try climbing three flights of stairs one stair at a time vs. two stairs at a time at the same pace.
2. THE EXCLAMATION TRICK
Point to something and cry “Wow! That is so beautiful”
This will cause everyone you are with to STOP and look which creates a glorious moment of pause for you to frenetically catch your breath.
3. BRING A DOG
Dogs are a huge help for so many reasons.
• they will stop and sniff (You get to REST and wave everyone away “don’t mind me, go on ahead, I’m just waiting for my dog.”)
• they will take off after animals (You get to REST while all the real athletes go run after your rascal. “I’ll wait here in case she comes back!”)
• and, you surreptitiously toss a few treats into the tall grass to create a distraction that means you get to REST while she searches “I can’t imagine what she’s looking for in this brush, dogs are so unpredictable.”
Interested in hiking in CO and need some ideas of where to go? Here are a few of my favorite hikes:
Now here are some lovely pictures the ultramarathoner took while he was waiting for me! (He seems to take a lot more photographs now that we’ve started hiking together – so weird.)
And, PLEASE, share your favorite tricks below, so I can continue to “improve” my athletic ability.
xoxo
KO
